Who Are YOU?

I want you to pause on this question. The next couple of pages are blank, to encourage you to really consider your answer, before reading on. You’re welcome to write your thoughts on these pages – connect with what you’d like to do.

What we are asking ourselves here is how we identify ourselves. There are a few kinds of answers that most people will give:

1. I am this person, in this body, sitting here right now, reading this book.
2. I am this person, in this body, now and into the future, until I die.
3. I am a member of this family or this community.
4. I am part of the world I live in.

The first consequence of the central tenet of this book, however, that there is just one consciousness, and it is in all of us, is a different answer to this question.

5. I am part of awareness itself, connected to everyone else, across all of time.

There are aspects of this more fulsome definition in each of the previous ones. But this final definition of identity expands identity. It turns out the key is just connection. Connection to others—you are everyone, and there is no “other.” And connection to the long-term—you are your descendants and yourself, and your ancestors. Put together, you are everyone, forever.

Another key consequence is largely linguistic, but I will argue later that words matter, so we should try to be precise here: with this definition of consciousness, there is no notion of “increasing” consciousness, only of increasing attunement to consciousness. Drawing from the opening paragraph of this chapter, your body and mind are receivers, capable of tuning into consciousness, but also largely autonomous if you choose not to tune in.

We have arrived at the reason that I introduced the causes of our loss of connection to consciousness in Chapter 1: those causes are self-reinforcing as consequences. It becomes a vicious cycle. The more you retreat to narrower definitions of self and short-term thinking, the harder it gets to care about the benefits of being more connected and tuned-in.

The crux of the matter is to be true to your nature. Your nature is to be connected, to your past, present and future (think many lifetimes, not many minutes, here) and to everyone around you (not just in your house, neighborhood, city or state....go big). To be true to yourself is so obviously a good idea as to be cliche. Meanwhile, “a house divided against itself will fall...”

So, it will not be surprising that there have been measurable benefits of both kinds of connection. Let’s start with individualism / isolation. We have already described the harms of isolation, so the benefits of connection should be self-evident. But to be explicit, many studies have demonstrated these benefits. A summary of the Harvard Study of Adult Development (the longest scientific study of human happiness in history), states:

"The study found that the people who stayed healthiest and lived longest were the people who had the strongest connections to others. The warmth of these connections had a direct positive impact on their health and well-being. Good relationships meant participants were less likely to develop heart disease, diabetes, or arthritis. Broader social networks and more social activity resulted in later onset and slower rates of cognitive decline. The study even found that married people lived longer—an average of 5-12 years longer for women, and 7-17 years longer for men."¹²

And, per the CDC: "Social connection can predict longevity and well-being, while loneliness and social isolation are predictors of poor health and premature death."¹³

As to time, being short-term minded is a terrible strategy, partly precisely because it’s not a strategy at all. Short-term thinking is really about tactics – how should I optimally apply my strategy right now, given the immediate ground-truths? But strategic thinking is about the long-term, and it’s clear that this is a better way of thinking. This principle applies to military conflicts, to financial planning, to a tennis match, to a tennis career, and pretty much to everything else. Of course, we should account for short-term realities, but we should more heavily consider our longer-term goals – and the longer-term, the better, in this regard.

Empirical evidence overwhelmingly supports the benefits of longer-term thinking, across a wide variety of domains. In terms of physical health, consideration of future consequences (CFC) is linked to better decisions with regard to smoking and alcohol consumption¹⁴ and sexual health.¹⁵ Increased aggression is linked with lower CFC,¹⁶ which is a finding that directly relates to connection to others as well. Increased CFC also leads to better financial decisions, for example with regard to impulse spending and accumulation of credit card debt.¹⁷ In short, connection to the future gives us vision and strategy, and this is clearly beneficial.

But we shouldn’t forget the past, nor be disconnected in the present, either. The past gives us lessons that we can learn, from our own mistakes and successes, and from those who have toiled before us. And the present moment is the only moment in which we actually have any ability to do anything. It is therefore absolutely crucial that we are as present as possible, as much of the time as possible. Indeed, one could argue that connection to the present – presence – is the real-time embodiment of attunement to consciousness.